


A Hare Beyond Compare

by Mommui



Category: Redwall
Genre: Hon Rosie married both of them dont @ me, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 04:05:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15855861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mommui/pseuds/Mommui
Summary: Treerose and Tarquin fight over how to describe Hon Rosie in a song.For Redwall Fic Month 2018 the 5th and final week...This was so much fun.





	A Hare Beyond Compare

“You...You over-whiskered fop! Her eyes are the color of a summer night, not nightshade! That plants poisonous!” 

“Bah! You bally fluff tailed folly! Their the color of good earthy soil!”

“That's not any better!”

Treerose and Tarquin were head to head, glaring aggressively into the others eyes outside on the Abbey’s lawn.  
The afternoon sun was occasionally blocked by drifting clouds, offering some shade if naught but a minute. Hon Rosie sat nearby, seemingly ignoring the two arguing about how to describe her, enjoying the late summer day with the inhabitants of Redwall Abbey. She sipped her tea silently, as the others watched the hare and squirrel quarrel. Abbot Saxtus particularly looked worried.

“Hon Rosie’s eyes are the shade of perfectly roaste’ chesnuts, that hue melts my heart…”

Treerose huffed, annoyed. “You keep comparing her to food!” She looked smug as she responded, “...Besides, they would the color of a perfectly golden flaky crust of a pastry anyway.”

Tarquin glared, his stomach growling loudly. “Your tryin’ distract me, you bally rotter!” 

She grinned mischievously, “Am not! I'm only saying Hon Rosie’s fur is the shade of fresh crisp Autumn leaves, her eyes colored like prime _October Ale_.”

The hare bard let out an anguished growl, hunger coming over him. The two were cut off as Hon Rosie’s trademark laugh ripped through the air, every beast present cringing at the unexpected noise.

“Whoohahoohahahooh! Come on Treerose! Play fair!” 

The squirrel huffed again, but smiled admirably at the hare. “Fine...if only for you Rosie.”

Tarquin stood up straight, his face serious as he continued their slinging of admirations.

“Her coats a gentle campfire, warmin’ me every lonely night…” 

“Not every night, you silly hare!”

Abbot Saxtus seemed surprised as Hon Rosie let them carry on, delicately sipping her tea once more. He thought for a moment, considering the question, before asking.

“...Shouldn't we stop them?”

“Whatever for?”

“Well, they are yelling at each other. I don't want it spiral into some beast getting hurt.” He mind went to when Mariel first arrived at the Abbey, it seemed so long ago now.

She managed to restrain herself, letting out only a chuckle. “Tis only friendly competition ya’ know. I won’t let it turn ugly, they are married to me dear Abbot.” She winked slyly at him. “Besides, It is rather flattering, wot?” 

Abbot Saxtus hesitated before nodding in response, trusting her ability fully. He was still curious however, continuing his questions.

“If I may ask, how did this start?”

“Tarquin, the bally sap, was writin’ a tune, then he asked Treerose to help ‘im.” She smirked, setting her cup down. “Then they started this silly competition over the lyrics, wot.”

“...What are the rules if it’s a competition.?”

“I have no bally clue, honestly.”

A young hogmaid looked up at her inquisitively, “Then how do yah’ who wins?”

“I told 'em I'd kiss the winner.”

A shrewbabe giggled, piping up. “Who’em do you plan’en on kissin’ , Miss Rosie?”

“Both of 'em” she replied simply, smirking as she took a sip of tea.

Saxtus couldn’t help but laugh at her answer, joining in with the several giggling dibbuns present. He caught his breath looking up at the sky, the blue peeking out behind fluffy clouds. His mind went to more pleasant ideas, a smile growing over his face.

“Perhaps we should have lunch out on the lawn?” 

Hon Rosie nodded, watching her two companions squabble. “It's a jolly good day for it,wot wot?”

Treerose and Tarquin,largely the latter, were momentarily distracted by the mention of food, pausing their fight for the time. 

The jolly hare bowed dramatically to the Abbot, his ears touching the ground. “Allow me, good Abbot. I'll be back before you blink, wot!”  
He winked, rushing off with all the speed of a hungry hare. Treerose sighed, slowly getting use to the hares aptitude for food. 

Abbot Saxtus leaned in closer to Hon Rosie. “I do think Treerose has won though, your eyes do look like October Ale.” He winked neatly.

The mouse nearly fell over as the hare flew into laughing once more. 

“Whooohahahahahooh! Taking sides now, are we Abbot?”

He let out a hearty laugh, “Perhaps I am.” 

Treerose lifted Saxtus, fully embracing the shorter mouse. “Oh Saxtus! I knew you were a smart one!”

He blushed profusely at the pretty squirrelmaid, causing Hon Rosie to laugh even more. Treerose didn’t seem to notice it at all, as other creatures covered their ears. 

The melodic voice of Treerose could be heard above all as the Abbeydwellers prepared for their lunch outside. Friar Conkleburr had energetically agreed to the Abbots idea, smiling sweetly as he listened to the squirrels song. Creatures found themselves grinning, overtaken by the affection she sung with. Tarquin proceeded to sing after her, his voice somewhat paling against Treerose's. Hon Rosie did as she promised she would, and they both seemed too flushed to notice the lack of a clear winner. 


End file.
